My name is Derrick.
I am 20 years old.
I enjoy working with my hands, learning, anything electronic, especially computers.
I like my voice, I like my musculature, and my hands.
I enjoy my job, a lot.
I am generally proud of myself.
I am proud of my beliefs, but I don’t enjoy shoving that in others faces.
I do not like sharing my beliefs with others.
I do like sharing my ideas with others.
I dislike the country where I live because of it’s attitude towards most issues.
I am an LGBTQQA ally.
I think the most important human trait is self confidence.
I think the rarest human trait is self confidence.
I think the most powerful force in the universe is providence.
My favorite drink is a good margarita. Second that, captain or stoleychna, neat.
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Wanna play along?
Name?
Age?
Activities you enjoy?
What do you enjoy about your body?
What do you think of your current job?
Are you proud of yourself as a human being?
Are you proud of your beliefs?
Do you share your beliefs?
Do you like sharing your ideas?
Do you like where you currently reside?
What is your relation to LGBTQQA rights?
What do you think is the most important human trait?
What do you think is the rarest human trait?
What do you think is the most powerful force in the universe?
What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
I have a billion thoughts racing in my head, ranging from the existence of a dielectric binary existence of good and evil, to starting a blog, to ruby. Oh, and there’s a part of me that wants to just crash.
Unfortunately a lot of my thoughts aren’t so focused on school, which is problematic. It’s not that I’m being lazy, quite the opposite, I’ve done an amazing amount these past few weeks, just nothing school related.
I should be studying sorting algorithms, predicate logic, whatever it is that my LGBT class is doing…But instead I’m caught up with build servers and cvs, and svn and chef and puppet and fluxbox configs.
I suppose I should revert to my crutch of using a to-do list, as it tends to make me pretty effective at accomplishing stuff, even if it’s stuff I don’t want to accomplish. Unfortunately I’m not sure if that’s even enough to get me focused on school.
It doesn’t help that there’s a fair deal of drama going on, that I’m torn between my family and my friends, and that there’s a part of me that wants to just disappear into my work.
Oh, and I’ve been getting like no sleep lately because I’m too focused on other things.
A excursion into an all too jumbled mind: I'm having a hard time -
figuring this whole religion thing out. This needs back story before I can begin explaining my current situation.
I was raised christian as a child, you know the whole stereotypical family dinners, saying grace before meals, going to church every sunday. The whole “shebang”. It wasn’t…
Ok, so, this is my very long answer to your very long post.(Sorry Tumblr, I don’t have a 125 character answer, screw you.)
A few points to begin:
Paganism is more then Wicca. Much much more then Wicca. To think that Wicca is somehow a representative religion of Paganism is ignorant at best.
Religion isn’t about believing or not thinking. Ask the hard questions, search deeply. If you have to avoid a line of questions or if there’s questions you can’t ask, then be weary, and ask more questions.
We can disagree with a religion, and yet still respect it’s followers. I strongly disagree with a lot of the effects of Christianity, and a lot of the racism, homophobia and other terrible atrocities it’s brought throughout the ages - but that was also perpetuated by humans, despite their justification. Everyone gets a choice, everyone gets a view point, and when it comes to religion, given that they aren’t pushy, you shouldn’t be a jackass about it, regardless your opinion. If they are pushy, free game.
Paganism is very different from the Abrahamic beliefs, especially in the area of religious organization and primary tenants. Keep that in mind. We don’t just stop saying prayers and sit in the forest and become pagan.
(Source: nightinthewoods)
I have a lot of disconnected thoughts bumping about in my head, so I apologize in advance that this post is basically meaningless rambling, whining, bitching and a hint of angst. Please disregard as appropriate.
Lately I’ve been on edge. I’ve made a lot of minor silly mistakes - I can hardly type correctly. The little bit that I’ve programmed has been useless and unremarkable. I feel nervous, anxious and a bit confused at times. I have a bit of real life drama, and a lot of anxiety and fear stemming from that, as it’s related to my future in a big way (even though in reality, the matter itself is so small as to seem microscopic, but, a step at a time…)
I feel like it’s something more fundamental then my piece of drama though. Like something in general is amiss, or perhaps a whole bunch of tiny things. My environment has been changing a lot lately, especially the people in it, and that could be bothering me. I’ve also had a few unfortunate events lately - nothing like holding a shotgun wondering if you’re going to have to shoot someone to defend yourself. I also know I’ve been trying to play a key role in a lot of different peoples lives - a bit more then normal.
Maybe with my drama about my future, I’m afraid of losing who I am. Perhaps I’m trying to compensate for that in other ways, such as being overly helpful and overly protective. I have a lot of constant concerns, yet in the back of my head, I know it’s going to be alright - I just need to embrace that reality.
Sometimes, or, perhaps even often, all the tiny stupid things really block out the real picture. At the moment, I’m not even sure what that big picture is, yet it seems like just last week I was positive of it.
nightinthewoods asked: Hey, you commented on one of my posts and I kind of recognize your username. Do we know each other? (if this is who I think it is, I'm gonna feel incredibly stupid for not realizing it sooner :P)
Well, I constantly tell raelynfalkin how much I love her, so if I’m not who you think I am, then we have a problem :3
I win.
I can, on almost any topic, interject enough jargon and random yet related facts, studies and trivia to convince most anyone that I’m intelligent.
The irony is that such a thing does not make me intelligent. I could (and would) argue that it actually makes me dumb.
Intelligence lies in the ability to synthesis new information. It is part creativity and part ingenuity. If facts were puzzle pieces, intelligence would be the act of stringing together other puzzle pieces to create new ones.
The insightful minds of our time, such as Nikolai Tesla and Einstein, have shown us that intelligence doesn’t have to meet the stereotype of an intelligent person. Neither of these two were well dressed, charismatic, or well adapted. They were both however utterly insanely intelligent, and made massive leaps for mankind, to such an extent that the implications of what they did are still being explored.
It’s easy in our lives to dismiss people through a system of stereotypes. It’s also easy to sum up education and intelligence in an Aristotlian view of study, instead of a creative venture into the unknown. Our education system is no longer concerned with learning, instead it is only concerned with cramming facts in the heads of young people. At some level, yes, facts are important, but this facet is over stressed in our modern schools and universities.
Learn to learn and the World is yours. Stagnate and become engulfed in meaningless facts and trivia, and die stupid. Think, be creative, be unique, or die.
There are times when I would like to take a baseball bat to someone’s face. Not in the vague general teen angst sense, but in the very specific I could name the person sort of way.
The problem is that usually these feelings don’t fade, they just grow.
I’ve stolen the following shamelessly from Tokoloshegirls blog (Though obviously I’ve changed the answers to my own.)
A S I C S //
Do you have a magical/Pagan name? No.
What does it mean? There’s a sarcastic answer I could give, or I could just not give one at all.
How did you find Paganism? Family.
How long have you been practicing? Since I can remember.
Solitary or group practitioner? I only practice in Solitary but I often talk about it with friends who also practice.
What is your path? My own personal blend of Western Alchemy, Wicca, and Philosophical Daoism.
Are you out of the broom closet? To anyone who frankly asks, though I tend to avoid advertising. This is the exception.
D E I T Y //
Who is your patron God? Cernunnos, “The God”, the general male energy of the Universe
Who is your patron Goddess? The Goddess, the general female energy of the Universe
What Gods do you worship? I believe each deity is a facet of the greater power.
Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddess, or rather respect them? Respect, darkness is a part of all living things.
Do you worship the Christian God? No.
Do you ever worship animals? Not in the religious sense, though I spoil my pets rotten.
Or plants? No.
N A T U R E //
Do you regularly commune with nature? Only in the sense that I commune with people.
Ever walked barefoot in the woods? Yes, multiple times, usually out of a need then a want though.
Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature? Nope.
Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth? Usually when I’m barefoot in the woods, wading in a creek that is up to my waist.
Do you have a familiar? Yes.
Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? No.
Or a plant? No.
Do you hug trees? No. That seems a bit painful, given that they have branches and other pointy bits.
Give them gifts? No.
What is your favourite flower to work with? There’s a few, but probably Poppy.
What is your favourite tree to work with? Never done much work with trees.
W H E E L . O F . T H E . Y E A R //
What is your favourite holiday? Beltaine
What is your least favourite holiday? Yule if only because of it’s modern context.
Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday? Yes.
Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday? Yes.
Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25? If I do, it’s purely out of convenience.
Have you ever felt the veil thin? Yes.
Ever danced the Maypole? No.
Know what the Maypole symbolizes? Yes.
How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays? Food, friends, the lover.
D I V I N A T I O N //
Do you use Tarot? Infrequently though I’ve used it for many years.
Do you use runes? No.
Do you use a pendulum? No.
Do you use dowsing rods? No.
Do you use astrology? No.
Any other form of divination? No.
S P E L L S //
What was the first spell you did? I don’t even remember anymore.
What was the latest? Binding Spell.
Ever done a love spell? No, I refuse to.
A job spell? No.
A healing spell? Attempted one once, but didn’t have a stash of acorns from a red oak tree.
What was the most powerful spell you’ve ever performed? Previously mentioned binding spell.
What deities do you usually call on? Usually just the Goddess, occasionally Hermes or Mercury.
C R Y P T O Z O O L O G Y //
Do you believe in Vampires? Not in the literal sense, I believe in people who suck the energy out of rooms though.
Werewolves? No.
Shapeshifters? No.
Elves? Not in a tolkien sort of way, more of a heathen perspective.
Faeries? Strongly, had several…unfortunate experiences.
Dragons? No.
Nymphs? Yes but not in a Disney way.
Sprites? Only in a pure sense.
Mermaids? No.
Satyrs? Maybe.
Ever “seen” any of the above? Not directly with my eyes.
Ever talked to any of the above? Yes.
Ever used any of the above in magic? No.
Do you have one of them as a personal guardian? No.
R A N D O M //
Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon? None of the above?
Own a cat? Yes, several.
When you meditate, what does your happy place look like? A beach at night with an open fire.
Do you work with Chakras? No, just never needed to.
Do you believe in past lives? To a degree.
If so, describe a few briefly: That’s a bit personal.
Do you believe in soul mates? Simple question but it has a complex answer.
Do you have a spirit guide? Yes, though that term isn’t one I generally use.
Is it always love and light? Just as much as the Universe runs on sunshine and puppies.